Pick-up Articles

Takeaway!

No Comments 04 June 2014

You’ve seen the movie poster. Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr are making out on a Waikiki beach while the waves lap at their feet. But have you seen the 1953 classic film, From Here to Eternity? If you did, you would remember this scene: After an emotional discussion, Burt abruptly turns away and starts to head out.

“What are you doing?” Deborah inquires.

“I’m leaving. Isn’t that what you want?” Burt replies.

“I don’t know, Sergeant… I don’t know.” Deborah’s desire is tested and proved. They end up kissing, of course. By playing hard-to-get, Burt led an ambivalent Deborah to jump into his arms.

The term “takeaway” actually comes from the world of business sales and marketing. The best sub-communication of the takeaway is that you are not desperate. Desperation is a huge turn-off. You can offer an invitation, and you are not emotionally dependent on her reaction. You will be somewhat pleased if she accepts, but not at all concerned if she declines or defers. In fact, if she insists on fence-sitting, you can just as easily suggest a takeaway of the invitation altogether. Your willingness to discontinue making invitations demonstrates personal integrity of mind and spirit, keeping your emotional center whole.

A girl named Ami declined three of my invitations. She then told me, “I appreciate you asking me out. I really want to hang out with you more because I had such a good time the last time, and I appreciate your invitations. It’s just been that I really have been really busy lately with my family and with issues at work.”

She was being earnest and not indifferent, so I’m not going to employ a takeaway with her. In contrast, this other girl I know, Mary, liked me quite a bit, but had some issues about becoming more serious, so I had to do a great big takeaway. “It’s been fun hanging out with you, Mary, but let’s just be friends.” I told her. She cried from the thought of losing me and realized how important I was to her.

One of the reasons why a well executed takeaway works is because of persuasion expert Robert Cialdini’s principle of scarcity. According to this principle, a higher value is attributed to items that are more challenging to attain, especially when you have to compete with others. A takeaway can be used anytime, with varying magnitudes. A mini-takeaway like a back-turn could be a response to a qualification that didn’t meet your needs, and a maxi-takeaway like a “talk to the hand” gesture could be given if she misbehaves in some major fashion.

You might have heard of a socio-intimate technique called “push-pull” whereby you communicate disinterest (pushing) then interest (pulling) in an alternating fashion to pump buying temperature. Well, too many guys were starting with a “push” that was too strong or timed too early in the game and ended up pushing their partners away permanently. A proper takeaway, or push, must be timed after some “pulling” has occurred first to bait your partner. So, I’ve renamed this technique “pull-push-pull.” You can think of it as “interest-disinterest-interest,” or “hot-cold-hot,” or “giveaway-takeaway-giveaway.”

The risk of a takeaway is that she might return your disinterest with her disinterest, so be prepared for any result. A sensitive soul may respond to a takeaway by chasing you, but a stubborn, hardened, jaded spirit may feel snubbed and respond with a permanent and irreversible rebuff. But remember, if you build anticipation with teasing, you must eventually complete the circle with the satisfaction of the desire you were titillating. If you don’t finish properly, you will have bad karma.

Pick-up Articles

Study with Style! Class Begins on Monday

No Comments 14 May 2014

The new semester of Style’s Ultimate Infield Training Program begins on Monday, May 19, 2014. In this intensive, immersive transformational experience, you can learn directly from Style, Evolve, The Sneak, and other experts. With exclusive video content, workbooks, private coaching calls, group coaching sessions, a ticket to a Stylelife conference, and much more, this is the serious kick-in-the-pants you need to get your social life going. And there’s a free bootcamp included in the experience.

Very few slots remain, so claim yours now.

Pick-up Articles

3 Tips to Make Conversation More Seductive

No Comments 07 May 2014

“All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction.” – Marya Mannes

If you’ve ever wanted to be the guy who could turn up the seduction knob in your nightly conversations, then you’re going to have to do exactly what you’re about to read. Next time you’re out at nightclub, take a look at the shoes the girl nearest to you is wearing. Now take a look at yours. They’re different right?

Now, take a moment, and imagine yourself in them.

The key to seductive conversation is the ability to see yourself from someone else’s perspective. How do you imagine your conversations sound from her point of view? Do you sound like the charmer you thought you were? Or are you just another guy saying the same guy things in the same guy ways? The following three lessons will help you add some seductive flavor to your bland everyday conversation:

Listen and Think Before You Talk
“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” –Ernest Hemingway

Pay Attention! It may be shocking to most men, but women have things to say too! What she says can tell you a lot about who she is, if you know how to listen. There is a recipe for seduction hidden in everything a person says and does. Listen to her stories; a good seducer can learn volumes about a person by simply paying attention to what someone says.

• Listen to the words they use, the topics they bring up, and the topics they respond too. Then ask yourself, “Why is this person saying what they are saying? What does our conversation tell me about this person?”
• When you do respond, do not say the first thing that comes to your mind. Take a moment to think about what you’re going to say then respond.
• Don’t voice your opinion without thinking about it first. Ask yourself, “Will my opinion help or hurt this conversation. What emotional states could my opinion trigger?”

Speak with Emotion
“Feelings! I don’t go by feelings! That would get you killed in war!” – Henry Rollins

The ability to alter emotional states is a key component in seduction. By choosing the right words and speaking in with the right attitude, you can mold emotional states like clay. Be passionate about what you say. When you respond to people’s stories, do it with real curiosity.

• Ask yourself, “What is this person’s emotional state? What emotional state do I want them in? What can I say to change it?”
• Pay attention to the patterns in their emotional states. Find a way to change the pattern and you will stand out in her mind.

Strategically Flatter Her
“The aim of flattery is to soothe and encourage us by assuring us of the truth of an opinion we have already formed about ourselves.” – Dame Edith Sitwell

Everyone needs to be validated in one way or another. The key to real flattery is the ability to deduce what part of a person needs to be validated. Telling a beautiful girl that she “has amazing eyes” won’t get you anywhere, because she’s already been complimented on them thousands of times. You’re just the next guy. Instead, find something that she is insecure about in her life, compliment her on this and she’ll never forget you.

• Use your compliments to ease any insecurities and doubts they have about themselves.
• Stay away from complimenting anything that she is known for or is complimented on regularly.
• In most cases the compliments should not be sexual.

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